On my second scheduled counseling session, I have discovered something new about words I have used interchangeably without notice before…Throughout my journey of creating lasting friends and what not I have always been accused often of having too high of expectation from people…And because of that I was doomed to have no friends at all in the end unless I was to change my standards…I am too stubborn to change now so it’s a mute point…But to go back to what i have learned in my session is that I really don’t have high expectation I just have values and look to people with similar high values…I never made the connection before between expectations and values and in a way it made be realize why I have always found it so important not to back down on my stands…Values like honesty, integrity, word of honor, respect are essential for me and when I thought of them as mere expectations, I was left at times questioning myself…But now looking at them as values to live by and to seek in others, it doesn’t matter anymore what people think or say…They either have it or they don’t…bee bye, Khadra
deeqadahab said,
April 17, 2007 @ 9:20 pm
Interesting blog Kadra, I have gotten myself into a pickle several times because of my expectations of how a friend should be… Now I’ve just ended up with not expecting too much from people and when they go above and beyong my low expectations I end up being suprisingly pleased.
khadraworld said,
April 19, 2007 @ 4:41 pm
Well deeqa I don’t think you are the only one who probably does that and It is unfortunate in my opinion…I have learned you can’t lower your standard or even want to do so because by lowering your standards it just makes it seem you don’t value them that much either…So why not then have them shit all over you, speaking figuratively, of course…Really for me now is just being true to myself and to my values and not to everyone else’s shortcoming…Bee bye, Khadra
citizentito said,
April 27, 2007 @ 5:24 pm
I agree,one should definitely have a clear path and know where one is going.To achieve that,one must know themselves and understand their wants,meaning of life and all that.
Well,i don’t have no friend aswell,i mean not literally,i consider my closest three friends as my brothers and sisters and that they are.It ain’t un usual to have friends,its only absurd to claim to have friends when in reality they aint no friends but tools of wasting time and etc.Nice input Khadra!
khadraworld said,
April 28, 2007 @ 7:35 pm
Nice input yourself Citizen, as you said, it’s more of knowing of oneself and accepting that knowledge and applying it to your personal lives and relationships…As you said, people think they have friends, but really when you look in your life, how many do u see who would be standing by your side in tough times or situations!…Thanks for taking the time to post in my blog, till next time take care…Bee bye, Khadra
deeqa said,
May 6, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
Assalamu alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh
You must never never lower your standard just to satisfy others, even if u do so ..in the end u will be the who loses. i am just like ur guys …don`t have friends….but it doesn`t bother me. Because i am so lucky to have my brothers and sister and my parents as my friends and i don`t really have a lot spare time ..so i don`t have time to think about. There was a time …when i was younger ..i was looking for some somali girlfriends.
But they weren`t honest with me …i found out that we had way different point of views and some of them were just lost themself…so i remember that i used lecture two of them about the future, weddings
school and so on. I was teaching them ..what my parents taught me. But in the end i lost…so after that i gav up and just fokus on my studies. But i found a friend who has similar standards as me …but she is much older than me and she is from vietnam. we go to lessons at the university ….which is great… the other girls there …were trying to make me go to a club…just because i never been to one. But i never never lowed my standards No matter how hard they tried. Just be yourself and be strong and you will not have any regrets. just have some faith in allah and everything will work out.