Well it’s Monday evening and I am still at work at 7:18 pm, so in these last few minutes before 8 pm I felt the need to write something down..So I thought for this time out I would talk about Marriage…If you are like myself, someone who is from a country in Africa and past the age of 20 years old, you have been under siege for a time now…It’s weird how strangers would ask me about my marriage or the lack of it and whether there are a potentials or not as opposed to my family (including uncles and aunts of both sides) leaving me to my own decisions…Last night, I was watching a film called “just married” and the movie was about two people who are involved in arrange marriage and their effort to get to know each others while on their honeymoon…Some people are lucky in that they get married without knowing each other and once they know each other they are compatible and work well together…And then there are those who get married thinking they know each other and they have no clue and their true personalities come out in the marriage…So i did a reach trying to figure out what is the best way to make a marriage succeed through Islamic means and others…In my Islamic research part, I was able to find the women’s role in a marriage and the type of the relationship she should aim to have with her husband…It didn’t give me an idea of what things would be good things to look for in a mate when making this serious commitment…I have found a book called “Falling in love for all the Right Reasons” written by the founder of e-Harmony, those in America would be familiar with that name, which the author discuses dimensions a person can use to determine whether a person is the right “soul-mate”…Alright those of you snicking at that term just simmer down…I thought it was really a good read, things for those of you, who are looking forward to getting married to get ideas of things that are important for them to discuss with their potential mate…If any of my readers have been through choosing a mate or anyone considering settling down and they have a list they use, I would definitely like to hear from real people and real experiences…take care, bee by Khadra
Archive for April, 2007
Second Revelation
On my second scheduled counseling session, I have discovered something new about words I have used interchangeably without notice before…Throughout my journey of creating lasting friends and what not I have always been accused often of having too high of expectation from people…And because of that I was doomed to have no friends at all in the end unless I was to change my standards…I am too stubborn to change now so it’s a mute point…But to go back to what i have learned in my session is that I really don’t have high expectation I just have values and look to people with similar high values…I never made the connection before between expectations and values and in a way it made be realize why I have always found it so important not to back down on my stands…Values like honesty, integrity, word of honor, respect are essential for me and when I thought of them as mere expectations, I was left at times questioning myself…But now looking at them as values to live by and to seek in others, it doesn’t matter anymore what people think or say…They either have it or they don’t…bee bye, Khadra
Fashion or Necessity
As I am finished with my workout routine and walked into the shower area, I had a thought pop into my mind, which had nothing to do with exercising…I have heard of and seen few women who go to college or university until a husband-to-be comes to whisks them away…What I am talking about are women, who are going to school not because they plan to have careers or work in professional job, but rather because they are not married yet and everyone else is a student, why not them too!!! Is the society pressuring these women, who aren’t interested in education, to pursue an academic life, so that when they say “oh I am a student” and not “oh I am just working and staying at home till I get married” people look at them more favorably!!! Are women seeking education for their own personal improvement and advancement as individuals or they really trying to occupy their time until they get married and then just be stay-at-home wives or mothers?…Is education looked upon as a necessity or fashionable pursuit?…If the intention of a woman for going to college is just to keep herself busy until she is married, should she really put herself in a financial debt so she can just to put a facade?
bee bye Khadra
